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Thanks for the update and the story, Mark. I was hoping you hadn't gotten lost or worse.

I have my own tales of brushing up against the supernatural. I was also a 'seeker' once upon a time and I tip toed up to the line of magic (or magik), but I never crossed the line. Prayers of my mother, I suspect. What I learned is that if you poke the other side, it pokes back. I no longer seek it out, I reject it, plant my flag and raise my shield and refuse THEM. You can't fight spirits with Glocks, or I would, you can only use faith or love or contempt. If that makes any sense.

Looking forward to what you have to share next. I hope you are protecting yourself, man.

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Schrodinger's big dumb dog. You had me at hugging (embracing?) madness. Seems the only place for any clarity these days, one eye or not, seven meds or none. And to make matters half as affecting as your words, this was playing before I clicked...

https://youtu.be/A4jzzDYLgro

Not that you were seeking any prepacked answers to questions better suited for exploratory first person prose. Stay anon as long as permissible. Tis' the light. Tis' the way.

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If it were me, I would destroy the laptop, whatever demon you summoned with it is feeding off the emotional attachment. It's kind of like the One Ring, a metaphor you've used before in previous essays.

In general it sounds like you lack some kind of adequate psychic protection. It is possible to peek beyond the veil, but not a good idea without protection, and of course it is far too easy these days to find grimoires online and get sucked into dangerous practices (I realize that your encounter was long before easy availability of such material). It's interesting that the internet -- which I am more and more convinced is the Beast of Revelation -- is the principal disseminator. I think you have become more actively Christian lately? That is likely an important protective practice for you.

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Aug 11, 2023·edited Aug 11, 2023Liked by Mark Bisone

Masterfully written, as always. I've said it once, I'll say it again you've got quite a way with words, and an uncanny ability to even take what seems to be ruminations and spin a compelling narrative out of it.

With all this talk of madness, I feel compelled to fall back on the old adage of, "The difference between a madman and a prophet is timing." Not to say the kind of people you were describing are nascent prophets, but, when you say you see something more "serious" in people like Ron, I can't help but agree and think of strange individuals like him that I've met over the years - significantly fewer than it sounds like you have, but, especially when I was in college, I seemed to have them coming in and out of my life like clockwork. I think they all had something to teach me. Not wittingly, maybe not directly, but, I already believe that everything happens for a reason, and I certainly don't think these people that most would, rightly or wrongly, cast off as raving lunatics, have nothing to show us, even if it is a terrible warning. Sometimes, in a select few, I almost feel as if there's some sense of warped genius behind their strangeness, but it's something that remains... elusive. Something I just can't quite grasp. I know it's there, but, like reaching for something vague and undefined at the bottom of a thicket of thorns. It might be a rock. It might be a gemstone. But, whatever it is, you'll probably get stuck and cut trying to reach it, so... maybe it's best left where it is.

But, of course, not all of us are so easily dissuaded. Is it it curiosity? Stupidity? Recklessness? Something of all three? Who's to say.

I'm glad to see you back.

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This was really well written! I am very much in the process of sorting through my own thoughts and experiences of a similar variety and much that you said resonates with me. When I used to work in a bar in downtown Memphis, I met all kinds of characters that if you didn't know them yourself, you'd think I was making them up when I describe them. One guy in particular would talk semi-coherently about a single topic for a few seconds, then it was like the radio dial in his brain got turned and all that came over the air was static for a moment, before a new signal would be picked up by his brain for a few seconds until the dial was turned again. It was very unsettling but extremely fascinating to watch. Anyway, this was a great post, and I look forward to reading your next!

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Aug 12, 2023Liked by Mark Bisone

I was literally thinking about this blog the other day, out of the blue, wondering where you'd got to. And, lo, here you are again! I've noticed something of a quietening in the more literary branch of Substack land recently. Actually, it's not just Substack. Things are getting pretty weird in general, like not just with the unfortunates who seem to like you in particular. Something, though, stands out to me that I want to address. It's that there is a current fascination with 'enchantment' as it applies to Christianity, and I'm not sure it's healthy. People like Rod Dreher, Jonathan Pageau, Jordan Peterson, Paul Kingsnorth for example (all of whom I've read and watched with interest which is now waning) seem to feel that the Word of God, taken straight, is too boring or passe to attract the younger generations. It needs to be 'interpreted' anew. We need to blend it with mythology and psychology and ye olde folkways to gin up a spark of interest, apparently. But as I've been studying, and I mean studying, the Bible I see that those ways are false. Those books have everything anyone could want, but you have to let them (God, really) speak. So what's this got to do with the weirdness you attract? I think there are only two sides in the struggle for our human souls, and no in between. The ideas of interstices are very popular, just revisit a writer like Charles deLint for example. How romantic to think there is a between place/world, kind of shadowy, kind of dangerous. How about flat out treacherous? One of its byproducts is mental imbalance. Sadly, many don't take the danger seriously until they're trapped. I've had experiences similar to yours. Didn't like them, gave up any notion of staying safe by my own efforts.

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Aug 12, 2023Liked by Mark Bisone

"I don’t know if it still hunts me, but I no longer care. I’d even hug it if I could. That might work even better than holy water or garlic, for all my dumb ass knows."

Shivers. I do kinda know what you are reaching for. Feeling for. Thank you for writing on it.

And, on behalf of all who you have hugged, thank you.

Also, you know... that hug may *very well be* one of the most powerful "exorcises" there are these days...

I mean, during the darkest days of covid separatism, I found myself becoming an "illicit hug dealer"... ;)

Anyway, with your permission and consent, I would be happy to say druidly prayers and light druidly candles that your path, whereever it takes you, be blessed and blessing.

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Had been wondering what had happened to you, and if you were alright. We await with baited breath the denouement of the Harm Assistant, in your own time. There may be an element of PTSD like recapitulation at the Nervous System level in revisiting the material.

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Was growing a bit concerned at your not writing, but do get that you’ve somehow pierced the veil. Don’t think you’ve been haunted, but rather your perception has been altered, creating a gap into which all things obscure seem to seek a place to reside temporally. Appreciably strange and a bit scary really, to consider what forces may be trying to manifest through you and your machine. Gotta believe that free will is our greatest solace in these matters and am happy and relieved you’re writing again.

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founding

It's in your eyes. I've never seen them, but I'm pretty sure about that. They see your soul acknowledge them, and they gravitate to it. The soul of most people is not so visible. Their pouring out to you is their hunger for their own soul they have lost.

In magical circles we talk about the importance of ethics, body, mind and spirit. Should one summon a thing without that ethical strength it can control you. If your ethics are sound, you control it, or let it go, or not summon it at all. You were very young and surely not ready for the magic you were practicing. I think it was the same with the harm assistant; I seem to recall how much you were working, drinking, how little you were sleeping. That does not mean you are controlled, or broken, or cannot heal. I think it does mean you might need some help clearing that energy, to free yourself from this. That, and an ethical practice.

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Aug 11, 2023Liked by Mark Bisone

As I’ve gotten older I have let myself become more open to “visiting/premonition dreams”. Etc. My sister is a shaman & says she always had “spirits” visit in her dreams .. I’m ashamed to say I didn’t believe her for many years until it started happening to me.....after speaking with a few cousins , who I discovered 2 who have had similar dreams....

Always keep an open mind 🙏❤️

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I am like you... a cuckoo magnet. That is one of the main reasons I can't live in a city. Sometimes when I am visiting a city and I don't want to take the time to hear the life story of every lunatic that passes me by, I imagine I put on a cloak that makes my energetic frequency match all the other people who are more self absorbed. It works for me, and I have played around with energetically taking it on and off in crowds and watched the results.

I think most bipolar people have a keen sense of energetics. They can feel perhaps even hear the frequency of someone who is open to listening. They also seem to know who has ventured into dark realms.

I feel like they have me pinned as a kind person who is willing to listen yet also they always seem to somehow know I have traveled through the shadow. I have had some beautiful encounters as well as some really scary ones. And as a 5 foot blonde chick, who is scrappy but also realistic, I don't always want yo take chances with crazy people.

I don't know how you live in New York as someone who is so open. I have to mentally prepare when going up a city because I almost always end up sick. Too many thoughts in the ethers for me, too much chaos energy. My mind always feels like it is on overdrive, spinning wheels for other people.

I also can say I feel more sane then most people I know and yet everything you speak of here seems like I could have written it myself. (Except you wont find me spiking my iced tea, or anything for that matter.) To me you don't sound crazy, you sound like someone who has a gift that needs to be honed. I wish you lots of luck in finding a teacher or discovering some knowledge to help you better cope with your gift of traveling through realms.

Im glad I stumbled upon your writing I am excited to read more.

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Aug 12, 2023Liked by Mark Bisone

The other day I learned about "Skittles parties." Teens will, apparently, raid their parents' medicine cabinets, pour the pills into a bowl, give it a good mix, and then pop a handful of randos. So when the EMTs show up, they can't figure out exactly what combination of meds has caused little Jonathan to pass out.

Just one example out of many (remember that depraved Balenciaga ad campaign?) of a malice that is very real, but can't easily be explained in rational terms, and maybe can't be explained at all.

Anyway, it feels like you and Yakubian Ape are in a weird-off, and I am here for it.

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Aug 12, 2023Liked by Mark Bisone

Hey Mark (not your real name? doesn't matter), this piece deserves critical praise, but I have something important to say to you. Not kidding, this is IMPORTANT. I do not think you should continue with the story of the Harm Assistant. Not for the closure (?) of putting it into words, and certainly not for the satisfaction of our curiosity. Let that fucker lie. Do not take it out of the Faraday box again. Bury it--literally--six feet deep. Burning it would be even better. You escaped from its claws, so why would you go back and start playing footsie with it again?? I am speaking to you as one who believes: BURY. IT.

When you've done that part, some deliverance prayers wouldn't go amiss. I recommend Father Ripperger's book, Deliverance Prayers for Use of the Laity. I have this book and have resorted to it when I did something dumb out of curiosity, such as--I feel stupid for admitting this, but whatever--reading Ecosophia, John Michael Greer's blog. Greer is a fount of interesting and provocative ideas; sure he's an astrologist and occult practitioner, but eh, I'm not reading THOSE posts, so ... Color me dumb. I'm not going to recount here what happened, but I fled straight to my deliverance prayers, and haven't looked at that blog since.

The internet is more dangerous than we think. But these dangers pale in comparison to what you're dealing with it. So dude, GET RID OF IT.

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Aug 11, 2023Liked by Mark Bisone

You sure seem to be a loon lightning rod, but from what I’ve read and from whatever small interactions I’ve had here and at Deimos, maybe the light we loons see is attention. But interacting with loons is a good thing, sometimes.

As for your project, perhaps it is not the daemon you think you might have invoked, but you simply built a “they live” pair of coding glasses. It is not in that computer, IMNSHO, you’re just percolating the daemons true thought and intentions and, because every code monkey is his fist guinea pig, being subject to its full and unfiltered action (if what I have written even make any sense).

Anyway, glad to see you back.

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Sep 21, 2023Liked by Mark Bisone

“ I have the same question pertaining to God and the devil. Yes, they exist. But what exactly am I supposed to do with that?”

Pick sides and help.

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