Oh my god you just saved my spirit. Apparently I’ve been a closet freak all my life, even though my appearance, accomplishments and unfortunate name mark me as exceptionally, successfully conventional. But yesterday provided certain proof of my weirdness. A month ago I sold my small company to a large one and was supposed to stay on for 6 months to smooth the transition. But everything in me made that impossible. It was as if they ingested a toxin brew and immediately regretted it…or maybe that’s just how I felt about it. Anyway, I fired myself last night but felt miserable and guilt-ridden about leaving my clients in the lurch. I kept wondering exactly what my problem is!?!
About an hour before you posted this I was telling my beloved that there are days when I really wish I was more like other people - but mostly I’m happy to be who I am. He said he knows how different I am but loves me all the more.
We’ve been together for a decade and in our first year he used to shake his head and say “you’re looking into things way too much.” Now he just shakes his head and smiles 😀
I feel you. I have a very conventional exterior, boring even. I'm not sure if anybody other than my spouse understands how weird I am ... I resonate much more with the likes of Mark and others, who write honestly about the spiritual war that is being waged right now.
Yeah, the inner freakiness is what counts. I think that was even true when we were young. Looking back, it was kinda childish to wear our freak flags on the outside. But... well, we were kids after all ;-)
And I guess outwardly marking ourselves made it easier to find each other through the shadows and fog. All subcultures contain little tricks like that, including Bohemian ones. It's just our version of "pretty feathers" didn't match the market norms.
"About an hour before you posted this I was telling my beloved that there are days when I really wish I was more like other people - but mostly I’m happy to be who I am. He said he knows how different I am but loves me all the more."
I've been there! And it does hurt sometimes, to recognize that the aspects of the social/business world we interface with regularly are mostly run by chain-gangers. They tend to speak an obfuscating language, and operate on entirely different assumptions about reality. For instance, in my professional life I would often find myself in rooms full of strategic liars, who pretty clearly assumed that everyone else there -- including yours truly -- was lying as well. It's at the very least a frustrating experience, and when we extrapolate that communications model to the world of politics, medicine and war it becomes downright terrifying.
Anyway thanks for this comment and I'm glad that it helped you in some way. I think one of the best things we can do is try to help each other with words and ideas. Certainly, the support of my substack from you and others has helped me immensely these past several months. I've got a feeling we're all going through some struggles right now. And since it's likely our general situation will get worse before it gets better, we gotta have each other's backs (and possibly fronts, sides, tops and bottoms) whenever possible.
"...{my} unfortunate name..."
As a brief aside, I hate that "Karen" meme with the passion of a thousand suns. It's so childish, lazy and stupid. It's also not funny, which is the worst crime of all. One of those "sociogenic viruses" I'm happily immune to, I guess.
“For instance, in my professional life I would often find myself in rooms full of strategic liars, who pretty clearly assumed that everyone else there -- including yours truly -- was lying as well. It's at the very least a frustrating experience, and when we extrapolate that communications model to the world of politics, medicine and war it becomes downright terrifying.”
Exactly! What I went through over the past month started out as maddening and ended up being terrifying, once I saw clearly the face of the machine.
Yes, you helped me profoundly. Thucydides told us that the key to happiness is freedom, and the key to freedom is courage. I think we’re all going to need a lot of courage in the years ahead.
Great essay (as was the Jay Rollins piece that inspired it)! Being a weirdo does have some advantages, in the long run, and what you said about being a straight generic-white male really rings true: I used to really envy people with an ethnic upbringing because it seemed like growing up with a ready-made tribal identity and kinship was so much better than being just a vanilla blah in a homogenous sea of vanilla blahs -- reminds me of that controversial Guns N Roses song "One in a Million," and how this sentiment is what I think Axl was trying to express, albeit in his customarily caustic way -- but as you said, not having a ready-made group identity or tribal kinship forced us paleface weirdos to deal with those difficult issues of identity.
Many of us dealt with those issues sometimes well and sometimes quite badly, but looking back, I can only imagine that if I'd had a "people" to call my own, I would probably have gotten better grades and would have had a more straightforward and successful career and nicer house, but I'd have no idea why I was so miserable and feeling dead inside. Instead, I formed my own tribe together with my fellow weirdos, who were similarly grappling with these questions of identity and meaning. My grades and career prospects took a hit, but I think I gained a capacity for self-awareness and intellectual freedom that I would not have had otherwise.
Anyway, really enjoyed your and Jay's essays on this theme! Thanks for sharing your insights!
" I used to really envy people with an ethnic upbringing because it seemed like growing up with a ready-made tribal identity and kinship was so much better than being just a vanilla blah in a homogenous sea of vanilla blahs... but as you said, not having a ready-made group identity or tribal kinship forced us paleface weirdos to deal with those difficult issues of identity."
Right. And the non-paleface weirdos had to deal with it as well. There was buddy of mine from those teenage circles (and still a friend today) who initially wore an elaborate "costume" as a kind of survival strategy. He was black, gay and from a *very* rough hood, and in his closeted form he tried to act both as straight and as street as possible. Everyone in that circle could see right through this disguise, but didn't mention it as a matter of form (e.g. he'd come out when he wanted to, so what was the point?)
When he did come out, it only was after he'd moved out of that all-black hood, and therefore away from the very real dangers of not fitting into its hivemind. Then the whole shebang, including the disguise itself, quickly became one of those hilarious inside jokes I mentioned.
Very true. I guess weirdos of any ethnic background have the same issues of identity and social belonging to deal with.
Also, I conflated race and ethnicity, and there are plenty of ethnic whites (usually Eastern European or Italian or Greek) whose ethnic background, traditions, and community comprise a big part of their identity, and I also envied them as well, for the same reasons.
For generic whites, there actually was a ready-made tribal membership, and your essay has now got me thinking more about what that "identity" was. It was something like a mass-produced corporate counterfeit of culture and tribe, though, so I didn't really think of it as being a culture or tribe, because it really was such a poor substitute. Being artificial, it doesn't meet any of the same human needs that a real culture and tribal membership would; it just blinds its participants to the absence of those things in their lives, so that they can get on with the business of being good consumers and obedient workers.
Another angle: the director of the movie Restrepo (about an Infantry Platoon in Afghanistan) shared an anecdote about a journalist asking one of the soldiers if he missed anything about Afghanistan, and after thinking it over, the soldier replied that he missed almost all of it. The director said he thinks the reason for the soldier's response is that when he was in Afghanistan, he knew he could count on the guys to his right and left, but when he got home, he's just one anonymous, atomized civilian in a sea of anonymous, atomized civilians, not knowing whom he can trust; and as much as the daily hardships in the Afghan mountains sucked, at least he had that: he could count on his buddies, and they counted on him. He belonged, and the role he played in the tribe mattered to people other than himself.
One of the places I went looking for tribal membership was in the Army. I never did anything nearly as noteworthy as the guys featured in Restrepo, but that comment stuck with me. Even an ad hoc manufactured tribe, like the squad you run missions with (guys from a wide variety of ethnic and religious backgrounds), is something. The need for real tribal membership is hard-wired in our DNA, but not only is our globohomo culture NOT optimized for meaningful social connection and belonging, but it is actively inimical of it. And beyond that, one of the craziest aspects of our culture is how it divides people into mutually antagonistic factions without managing to foster any meaningful or beneficial tribal bonds within any of those factions; instead the members of each group feel like it's just them against the world. So you have millions of angry, alienated, atomized people who see other people as belonging to groups that are actively hostile towards them, without seeing themselves as being part of any tribe.
After thinking some more about your article and your reply to my comment, I'm thinking that my thoughts on this topic are incomplete and . . . I think there's a deeper reality at work here, maybe along the overall theme of your substack: a spiritual reality that does affect our world and manifests in some strange ways in our culture at large and in our individual lives. How did we wind up with a culture that so many people, within that very culture, hate and see as thwarting, rather than fostering, real human well-being? Blacks and Native Americans feel (legitimately) that America has given their people a raw deal. Non-elite white people feel like they're getting the blame for the crimes of an elite class who is mostly white, but which pretty openly despises non-elite whites; the overwhelming whiteness of places like Martha's Vinyard is considered evidence of white privilege, yet the whites of Martha's Vineyard seem to be doing everything they can to push working-class whites further onto the margins of the economy and culture, while simultaneously telling racial and ethnic minorities that the working-class whites are the real enemy, holding them down and oppressing them by voting for Trump or voicing concerns about rising crime or whatever. And I'm wondering now to what extent I have just been responding reflexively to this dynamic as it impacts my own life, without seeing the bigger picture: is there some force, spiritual or otherwise, that has designs on humanity and is all too happy to get all us regular folks, who maybe have a lot of common ground, to see each other as hostile and untrustworthy?
Anyway, once I clarify my thoughts and questions on this theme, I will probably attempt an essay in response to your and Jay Rollins's essays. After reading and re-reading what you and Jay wrote and thinking about it some more, I realize I have more unanswered questions on this topic than I thought I did. These issues seem very complicated and very nuanced, because they touch on damn near everything that is foundational to our concepts of self and culture and all that. And sometimes I think I understand it, but then I realize my mental model is fundamentally flawed and it's back to the drawing board. So . . . thanks for helping me see that it's time to revisit my assumptions!
Sebastian Junger wrote a beautiful, moving testimony to the power of bonds formed in the military - and the importance of tribe more generally. In fact the book is called Tribe.
It's interesting ... I am in a category of beige such that people sometimes expect tribal responses from me even though I identify as white, having grown up entirely with white norms (maybe with the faintest hint of "cultural" flavoring). One of my dissertation committee members -- one of the original antiracist drum-bangers (trying to correct the problem of "under-representation" in the sciences) -- seemed to resent my lack of interest in the tribal rituals. Looking back on it all, I see those expectations as the epitome of the kind of white privilege commonly condemned in those circles.
"Looking back on it all, I see those expectations as the epitome of the kind of white privilege commonly condemned in those circles."
Absolutely. The Jungian projection is surreal in how strong and obvious it is. They are the very picture of the intestinal, reductive hobgoblins of bigotry they vilify. I sometimes think its a new species of narcissism that has hybridized with masochism, where they can do nothing but obsess over the projected image of themselves all day long. I think the only treatment might a sustained comedy assault. But perhaps even that won't work; *actual* racists seem to be the unfunniest folks on earth, and when you sprinkle in the spices of a martyrdom complexes, self-abuse rituals and addiction to status... good lord, I wonder if anything short of divine intervention could shatter that twisted spell.
Yes! A very successful friend, about a decade younger than I, was talking to me a couple of weeks ago about the oppressiveness and need to fight the “patriarchy”.
I operated in several heavily male-dominated fields during my professional development (university, academia, economics and finance) and could see the general bias against women up close. But I decided to forge ahead and not let it bother me (pick your battles, know what you can and cannot change, and all that). With the benefit of hindsight I realized that being a woman was at least as advantageous as it was difficult, since the results speak for themselves.
It didn’t dawn on me, until reading your comment, how ridiculous this friend’s perspective is, given her own personal success, the absence of any corroborating stories of trauma or failure due to the “patriarchy” over 16 years of friendship, and the obvious reality that it is men - and specially young men - who have been struggling mightily over the past decade.
I remember back in the early 00's I read a book named "Stiffed" by Susan Faludi (a feminist of some reputation). It was a fascinating read, as it pulled the camera back from the solipsistic way third wave feminists were beginning to describe the world and its problems, and the narrow, petty and cruel stereotypes they were attaching to men. "Stiffed" tried to repair that by focusing in on the myriad ways that masculinity has been demeaned and betrayed by much the same hidden social forces that threatened women.
I can't recall her full argument, but I remember thinking that she was oh-so-close to figuring out the secret: we all have the same enemy, whispering spells from the shadows that play us against one another for fun and profit.
Yes I was aware of Faludi’s research, though I haven’t read this book of hers.
Having grown up in a world of men (starting with four older brothers!) and seeing the obvious and considerable variety among them, I decided I quite like most of them 😀
Beautiful! I'm glad that you mentioned at the end that we might learn a thing or two from the normies. There is a danger in freakdom to become arrogant and condescending, while using that as an excuse to be a lazy dickhead. I certainly fell into that trap back then. But that doesn't mean at all we have to participate in all these social games and shouldn't chart our own course!
Exactly. I think I just needed to get the rest of it off my chest before I was willing to accept that, yes, there are also drawbacks to being a misfit, and some of those negatively impact the world around us. I feel a deep anguish and rage whenever I see artists betraying the normie world, abusing their gifts and insights for evil propaganda (and getting a pat on the head from psychos for doing so). That happens too often to keep count, so I find I need to limit my exposure to it.
Nov 5, 2022·edited Nov 5, 2022Liked by Mark Bisone
The unbearably profound lightness of being 🙂 Seriously good; there is there there. Ty for keeping us awake on this long drive through the darkness and rain!
Oh yeah, the timing: just perfect to serve a much-sought respite from infamous acutely topical trial balloon that’s hijacked the interwebs. And you saved Karen’s spirit! W/o even trying. What other proof might we still need of freak power magic(k)? 😊
💬 it’s always preferable to break spells instead of people 👌
~~
PS Octopus the normie 😂 I’m gonna have to remember that. Nice freakish pony, btw. Lo-res rei(g)n-bow... not so much.
"...infamous acutely topical trial balloon that’s hijacked the interwebs"
Hah! Yeah. I myself briefly considered commenting on it. But I guess once my inner freak smelled all the trend-chasing and chorus-joining going on, it gave me a little electric shock to remind me that's not my scene. :P
(Not to say no one's said anything interesting on the topic. But, holy moly, it's starting to feel like the dead horse needs a break from all these beatings)
Some of us are just Klein bottles in a land of square pegs and round holes. Nobody truly fits, but we are not even close. It's ok, nobody has to live in my head but me.
Nov 5, 2022·edited Nov 5, 2022Liked by Mark Bisone
This was a fascinating read. Thank you.
I hesitate to relate it to my own outsiderness. Further, I am not very good at expressing my inner world. Maybe it was the childhood head trauma. Maybe being raised in an era where children were to be seen not heard. Maybe it was being born into a large, military, low socioeconomic family with parents who were too busy, focused on the business of survival to encourage thought and expression. I don't know. But you have given me much to think about.
I also appreciated reading David D's ruminations on your thoughts.
Mark, this is a fabulous work of art. Hey, I just recalled *in this moment* that I wrote a song titled "Freaks Like Us"! (Note to self: I've got to find my audio and lyric files for this song.)
I am enamored with your writing, and this piece really speaks to my essence.
The childhood struggles of being creative are so difficult that most young people get cajoled and corralled into following the black magic agenda of risk-averse "steady" careers, which are nothing but tracks for their agenda (mainlining, anyone?).
But those of us who avoided that trap to even some degree are the new sages, regardless of whether we create art: We are creating countercultures.
It's like: "Meet me in the café: I drink decaf but I'm wired for right action!"
Oh my god you just saved my spirit. Apparently I’ve been a closet freak all my life, even though my appearance, accomplishments and unfortunate name mark me as exceptionally, successfully conventional. But yesterday provided certain proof of my weirdness. A month ago I sold my small company to a large one and was supposed to stay on for 6 months to smooth the transition. But everything in me made that impossible. It was as if they ingested a toxin brew and immediately regretted it…or maybe that’s just how I felt about it. Anyway, I fired myself last night but felt miserable and guilt-ridden about leaving my clients in the lurch. I kept wondering exactly what my problem is!?!
About an hour before you posted this I was telling my beloved that there are days when I really wish I was more like other people - but mostly I’m happy to be who I am. He said he knows how different I am but loves me all the more.
We’ve been together for a decade and in our first year he used to shake his head and say “you’re looking into things way too much.” Now he just shakes his head and smiles 😀
I feel you. I have a very conventional exterior, boring even. I'm not sure if anybody other than my spouse understands how weird I am ... I resonate much more with the likes of Mark and others, who write honestly about the spiritual war that is being waged right now.
Yeah, the inner freakiness is what counts. I think that was even true when we were young. Looking back, it was kinda childish to wear our freak flags on the outside. But... well, we were kids after all ;-)
And I guess outwardly marking ourselves made it easier to find each other through the shadows and fog. All subcultures contain little tricks like that, including Bohemian ones. It's just our version of "pretty feathers" didn't match the market norms.
"About an hour before you posted this I was telling my beloved that there are days when I really wish I was more like other people - but mostly I’m happy to be who I am. He said he knows how different I am but loves me all the more."
I've been there! And it does hurt sometimes, to recognize that the aspects of the social/business world we interface with regularly are mostly run by chain-gangers. They tend to speak an obfuscating language, and operate on entirely different assumptions about reality. For instance, in my professional life I would often find myself in rooms full of strategic liars, who pretty clearly assumed that everyone else there -- including yours truly -- was lying as well. It's at the very least a frustrating experience, and when we extrapolate that communications model to the world of politics, medicine and war it becomes downright terrifying.
Anyway thanks for this comment and I'm glad that it helped you in some way. I think one of the best things we can do is try to help each other with words and ideas. Certainly, the support of my substack from you and others has helped me immensely these past several months. I've got a feeling we're all going through some struggles right now. And since it's likely our general situation will get worse before it gets better, we gotta have each other's backs (and possibly fronts, sides, tops and bottoms) whenever possible.
"...{my} unfortunate name..."
As a brief aside, I hate that "Karen" meme with the passion of a thousand suns. It's so childish, lazy and stupid. It's also not funny, which is the worst crime of all. One of those "sociogenic viruses" I'm happily immune to, I guess.
“For instance, in my professional life I would often find myself in rooms full of strategic liars, who pretty clearly assumed that everyone else there -- including yours truly -- was lying as well. It's at the very least a frustrating experience, and when we extrapolate that communications model to the world of politics, medicine and war it becomes downright terrifying.”
Exactly! What I went through over the past month started out as maddening and ended up being terrifying, once I saw clearly the face of the machine.
Yes, you helped me profoundly. Thucydides told us that the key to happiness is freedom, and the key to freedom is courage. I think we’re all going to need a lot of courage in the years ahead.
Great essay (as was the Jay Rollins piece that inspired it)! Being a weirdo does have some advantages, in the long run, and what you said about being a straight generic-white male really rings true: I used to really envy people with an ethnic upbringing because it seemed like growing up with a ready-made tribal identity and kinship was so much better than being just a vanilla blah in a homogenous sea of vanilla blahs -- reminds me of that controversial Guns N Roses song "One in a Million," and how this sentiment is what I think Axl was trying to express, albeit in his customarily caustic way -- but as you said, not having a ready-made group identity or tribal kinship forced us paleface weirdos to deal with those difficult issues of identity.
Many of us dealt with those issues sometimes well and sometimes quite badly, but looking back, I can only imagine that if I'd had a "people" to call my own, I would probably have gotten better grades and would have had a more straightforward and successful career and nicer house, but I'd have no idea why I was so miserable and feeling dead inside. Instead, I formed my own tribe together with my fellow weirdos, who were similarly grappling with these questions of identity and meaning. My grades and career prospects took a hit, but I think I gained a capacity for self-awareness and intellectual freedom that I would not have had otherwise.
Anyway, really enjoyed your and Jay's essays on this theme! Thanks for sharing your insights!
" I used to really envy people with an ethnic upbringing because it seemed like growing up with a ready-made tribal identity and kinship was so much better than being just a vanilla blah in a homogenous sea of vanilla blahs... but as you said, not having a ready-made group identity or tribal kinship forced us paleface weirdos to deal with those difficult issues of identity."
Right. And the non-paleface weirdos had to deal with it as well. There was buddy of mine from those teenage circles (and still a friend today) who initially wore an elaborate "costume" as a kind of survival strategy. He was black, gay and from a *very* rough hood, and in his closeted form he tried to act both as straight and as street as possible. Everyone in that circle could see right through this disguise, but didn't mention it as a matter of form (e.g. he'd come out when he wanted to, so what was the point?)
When he did come out, it only was after he'd moved out of that all-black hood, and therefore away from the very real dangers of not fitting into its hivemind. Then the whole shebang, including the disguise itself, quickly became one of those hilarious inside jokes I mentioned.
Very true. I guess weirdos of any ethnic background have the same issues of identity and social belonging to deal with.
Also, I conflated race and ethnicity, and there are plenty of ethnic whites (usually Eastern European or Italian or Greek) whose ethnic background, traditions, and community comprise a big part of their identity, and I also envied them as well, for the same reasons.
For generic whites, there actually was a ready-made tribal membership, and your essay has now got me thinking more about what that "identity" was. It was something like a mass-produced corporate counterfeit of culture and tribe, though, so I didn't really think of it as being a culture or tribe, because it really was such a poor substitute. Being artificial, it doesn't meet any of the same human needs that a real culture and tribal membership would; it just blinds its participants to the absence of those things in their lives, so that they can get on with the business of being good consumers and obedient workers.
Another angle: the director of the movie Restrepo (about an Infantry Platoon in Afghanistan) shared an anecdote about a journalist asking one of the soldiers if he missed anything about Afghanistan, and after thinking it over, the soldier replied that he missed almost all of it. The director said he thinks the reason for the soldier's response is that when he was in Afghanistan, he knew he could count on the guys to his right and left, but when he got home, he's just one anonymous, atomized civilian in a sea of anonymous, atomized civilians, not knowing whom he can trust; and as much as the daily hardships in the Afghan mountains sucked, at least he had that: he could count on his buddies, and they counted on him. He belonged, and the role he played in the tribe mattered to people other than himself.
One of the places I went looking for tribal membership was in the Army. I never did anything nearly as noteworthy as the guys featured in Restrepo, but that comment stuck with me. Even an ad hoc manufactured tribe, like the squad you run missions with (guys from a wide variety of ethnic and religious backgrounds), is something. The need for real tribal membership is hard-wired in our DNA, but not only is our globohomo culture NOT optimized for meaningful social connection and belonging, but it is actively inimical of it. And beyond that, one of the craziest aspects of our culture is how it divides people into mutually antagonistic factions without managing to foster any meaningful or beneficial tribal bonds within any of those factions; instead the members of each group feel like it's just them against the world. So you have millions of angry, alienated, atomized people who see other people as belonging to groups that are actively hostile towards them, without seeing themselves as being part of any tribe.
After thinking some more about your article and your reply to my comment, I'm thinking that my thoughts on this topic are incomplete and . . . I think there's a deeper reality at work here, maybe along the overall theme of your substack: a spiritual reality that does affect our world and manifests in some strange ways in our culture at large and in our individual lives. How did we wind up with a culture that so many people, within that very culture, hate and see as thwarting, rather than fostering, real human well-being? Blacks and Native Americans feel (legitimately) that America has given their people a raw deal. Non-elite white people feel like they're getting the blame for the crimes of an elite class who is mostly white, but which pretty openly despises non-elite whites; the overwhelming whiteness of places like Martha's Vinyard is considered evidence of white privilege, yet the whites of Martha's Vineyard seem to be doing everything they can to push working-class whites further onto the margins of the economy and culture, while simultaneously telling racial and ethnic minorities that the working-class whites are the real enemy, holding them down and oppressing them by voting for Trump or voicing concerns about rising crime or whatever. And I'm wondering now to what extent I have just been responding reflexively to this dynamic as it impacts my own life, without seeing the bigger picture: is there some force, spiritual or otherwise, that has designs on humanity and is all too happy to get all us regular folks, who maybe have a lot of common ground, to see each other as hostile and untrustworthy?
Anyway, once I clarify my thoughts and questions on this theme, I will probably attempt an essay in response to your and Jay Rollins's essays. After reading and re-reading what you and Jay wrote and thinking about it some more, I realize I have more unanswered questions on this topic than I thought I did. These issues seem very complicated and very nuanced, because they touch on damn near everything that is foundational to our concepts of self and culture and all that. And sometimes I think I understand it, but then I realize my mental model is fundamentally flawed and it's back to the drawing board. So . . . thanks for helping me see that it's time to revisit my assumptions!
Sebastian Junger wrote a beautiful, moving testimony to the power of bonds formed in the military - and the importance of tribe more generally. In fact the book is called Tribe.
It's interesting ... I am in a category of beige such that people sometimes expect tribal responses from me even though I identify as white, having grown up entirely with white norms (maybe with the faintest hint of "cultural" flavoring). One of my dissertation committee members -- one of the original antiracist drum-bangers (trying to correct the problem of "under-representation" in the sciences) -- seemed to resent my lack of interest in the tribal rituals. Looking back on it all, I see those expectations as the epitome of the kind of white privilege commonly condemned in those circles.
"Looking back on it all, I see those expectations as the epitome of the kind of white privilege commonly condemned in those circles."
Absolutely. The Jungian projection is surreal in how strong and obvious it is. They are the very picture of the intestinal, reductive hobgoblins of bigotry they vilify. I sometimes think its a new species of narcissism that has hybridized with masochism, where they can do nothing but obsess over the projected image of themselves all day long. I think the only treatment might a sustained comedy assault. But perhaps even that won't work; *actual* racists seem to be the unfunniest folks on earth, and when you sprinkle in the spices of a martyrdom complexes, self-abuse rituals and addiction to status... good lord, I wonder if anything short of divine intervention could shatter that twisted spell.
Yes! A very successful friend, about a decade younger than I, was talking to me a couple of weeks ago about the oppressiveness and need to fight the “patriarchy”.
I operated in several heavily male-dominated fields during my professional development (university, academia, economics and finance) and could see the general bias against women up close. But I decided to forge ahead and not let it bother me (pick your battles, know what you can and cannot change, and all that). With the benefit of hindsight I realized that being a woman was at least as advantageous as it was difficult, since the results speak for themselves.
It didn’t dawn on me, until reading your comment, how ridiculous this friend’s perspective is, given her own personal success, the absence of any corroborating stories of trauma or failure due to the “patriarchy” over 16 years of friendship, and the obvious reality that it is men - and specially young men - who have been struggling mightily over the past decade.
I remember back in the early 00's I read a book named "Stiffed" by Susan Faludi (a feminist of some reputation). It was a fascinating read, as it pulled the camera back from the solipsistic way third wave feminists were beginning to describe the world and its problems, and the narrow, petty and cruel stereotypes they were attaching to men. "Stiffed" tried to repair that by focusing in on the myriad ways that masculinity has been demeaned and betrayed by much the same hidden social forces that threatened women.
I can't recall her full argument, but I remember thinking that she was oh-so-close to figuring out the secret: we all have the same enemy, whispering spells from the shadows that play us against one another for fun and profit.
Yes I was aware of Faludi’s research, though I haven’t read this book of hers.
Having grown up in a world of men (starting with four older brothers!) and seeing the obvious and considerable variety among them, I decided I quite like most of them 😀
Beautiful! I'm glad that you mentioned at the end that we might learn a thing or two from the normies. There is a danger in freakdom to become arrogant and condescending, while using that as an excuse to be a lazy dickhead. I certainly fell into that trap back then. But that doesn't mean at all we have to participate in all these social games and shouldn't chart our own course!
Exactly. I think I just needed to get the rest of it off my chest before I was willing to accept that, yes, there are also drawbacks to being a misfit, and some of those negatively impact the world around us. I feel a deep anguish and rage whenever I see artists betraying the normie world, abusing their gifts and insights for evil propaganda (and getting a pat on the head from psychos for doing so). That happens too often to keep count, so I find I need to limit my exposure to it.
Interesting. Can you expand on the artist or styles that you limit your exposure to?
The political satirist and artist Bob popped into my head when reading that. While his art is disturbing, it also feels necessary.
Well, I don't watch anything put out by Disney anymore, for one example! They really sh*t the bed.
LOL! I couldn't agree more.
The unbearably profound lightness of being 🙂 Seriously good; there is there there. Ty for keeping us awake on this long drive through the darkness and rain!
Oh yeah, the timing: just perfect to serve a much-sought respite from infamous acutely topical trial balloon that’s hijacked the interwebs. And you saved Karen’s spirit! W/o even trying. What other proof might we still need of freak power magic(k)? 😊
💬 it’s always preferable to break spells instead of people 👌
~~
PS Octopus the normie 😂 I’m gonna have to remember that. Nice freakish pony, btw. Lo-res rei(g)n-bow... not so much.
"...infamous acutely topical trial balloon that’s hijacked the interwebs"
Hah! Yeah. I myself briefly considered commenting on it. But I guess once my inner freak smelled all the trend-chasing and chorus-joining going on, it gave me a little electric shock to remind me that's not my scene. :P
(Not to say no one's said anything interesting on the topic. But, holy moly, it's starting to feel like the dead horse needs a break from all these beatings)
💬 the dead horse needs a break from all these beatings
Yet ‘nother good one to store in rom rather ram 😁 May your e-shocks be soft. Mild & benign.
Some of us are just Klein bottles in a land of square pegs and round holes. Nobody truly fits, but we are not even close. It's ok, nobody has to live in my head but me.
Good point (and I love the imagery of the Klein bottle).
Best post yet...
Thanks, brother.
This was a fascinating read. Thank you.
I hesitate to relate it to my own outsiderness. Further, I am not very good at expressing my inner world. Maybe it was the childhood head trauma. Maybe being raised in an era where children were to be seen not heard. Maybe it was being born into a large, military, low socioeconomic family with parents who were too busy, focused on the business of survival to encourage thought and expression. I don't know. But you have given me much to think about.
I also appreciated reading David D's ruminations on your thoughts.
Thanks, Amking. I think you express your thoughts well. We all have different ways of doing that, and I think that's good.
so dope
Thanks, dude.
Mark, this is a fabulous work of art. Hey, I just recalled *in this moment* that I wrote a song titled "Freaks Like Us"! (Note to self: I've got to find my audio and lyric files for this song.)
I am enamored with your writing, and this piece really speaks to my essence.
The childhood struggles of being creative are so difficult that most young people get cajoled and corralled into following the black magic agenda of risk-averse "steady" careers, which are nothing but tracks for their agenda (mainlining, anyone?).
But those of us who avoided that trap to even some degree are the new sages, regardless of whether we create art: We are creating countercultures.
It's like: "Meet me in the café: I drink decaf but I'm wired for right action!"
Back on the chain gang
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UQ8kbordCAg
Thanks to you Mark, I slayed a thousand dragons
This may sound like a strange question, but what do you think about independence in Taiwan?
Beep boop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6CycvRbHfM
Predictive programming is the black magicians tool!
By the way, I loved "Blade Runner." I am a curious bitch, haha.